These two phrases mean a lot of things to a lot of different people.
In my daily work with victims and survivors and abusers and the families of each, I’ve come to form a new understanding to these two words. (victim & re victimization)
I have never quite fully understood why I have done some of the things I have done or seen others do. If you have never been a victim or an abuser, you may never fully understand the impact this has. Impact can be short term or long term and can cause your ability to judge or to rationalize right from wrong to be misconstrued. For abusers and or victims it’s sometimes harder to decipher between right and wrong or normal and abnormal behavior, then it is for someone who’s never been exposed to such treatment.
With this being said, it is easy for predators to often re-victimize victims by getting them to do things they normally wouldn’t do if they had not been exposed to such treatment.
I am not a doctor nor am I a licensed counselor, I do believe this allows me to look at things with an open mind and see some of the shortfalls in our clinical psychology programs. Let me give you a few examples. If a man never had electricity would he miss electricity? If a child never learned to drive a car would they hate riding a bicycle? A mother who grows up in an ideal situation would hate it if someone had her kids and was using them as pawns to hurt her by hiding them or keeping them past the atime they were supposed to be back.
However, someone who has been a victim of abuse domestically, sexually, whatever the case may be, is less apt to find this unacceptable. So, the point I’m making is, when you are exposed to immortality, cruel, and unusual treatment, it has long-term effects on your ability to judge and distinguish between right and wrong as well as unacceptable behavior.
Most counselors, psychologist, doctors and other professionals would probably argue this with me on many different levels. But as a survivor of child abuse and being bullied at home, I became a bully and then escalated to emotional, verbal and sometimes physical abuse. All of these were learned traits. I was extremely vulnerable, because I was exposed to them in various occasions growing up and in relationships. This has had a devastating impact on my ability to distinguish between right and wrong and acceptable and unacceptable behavior.
The cause and effect of such treatment is allowing victims to become abusers, without ever fully comprehending what they’re doing. Exposure to such treatment oftentimes blurs our perception and reality.